I decided today (actually Wednesday) that maybe if I started writing down my thoughts about trying to lose weight, it would make it REAL, and even harder for me to slip or say "Yes" to....
- skipping the gym or a run for lunch with my sweet sisters and friends
- chocolate...especially Reese's
- quit running when I know my body could keep going
- frozen pizzas (even though we LOVE them and they're so easy)
There are so many things going through my head EVERYDAY, and the worst part is the negative talk! Weight loss is oh so mental, and it's killing me. I want to do this, I want to lose weight, and I want to run. When I see other people running, big or small, I can't help but think to myself, "WTH, why can't I do this?" Then I get myself all pumped, start AGAIN, and not 5 minutes into the run the negative thoughts begin to explode...
- ...and why did I think I wanted to start running
- i'm too big for this
- just walk, no one will know
- surely....i've already been 2 miles (5 minutes into it)
This vicious cycle has got to end!! And with that...Jamie just ran her first half-marathom this past Sunday. I'm so very proud of her. (Here's the negative talk...) There's no way I could ever run 13.1 miles for 2 hours and 29 minutes like she did. I can't even run 1 mile! But again, she did it, I'm jealous of her running skills, and I am really proud! It takes a very motivated person to do things like that, and I'm OBVIOUSLY not there!
I have decided to start over, but this time with a small, attainable goal in sight. I will do another 5k on March 6th, and I want to run it without walking...my biggest challenge, and also in 35 minutes. My last 5k was the Farmerville Watermelon Festival run last summer, and I finished in 44 minutes. And might I add, this was the worst 5k ever for me. Even though it was only my second :), it was still BAD. I never really noticed all the hills before. OMG! That's not a 5k on my list to try again! I did do a lot of walking, BUT I did it! So hopefully this next one will turn out a lot better for me. I started the couch to 5k program again this week. Pray for me!! My first run back (Tuesday), I was at the end, and started doubting myself. Yesterday, I was so proud of myself...I stayed positive and kept telling myself that I could do it. I also laughed every time I passed this office and saw myself in the glass. This is why...
How I envision myself looking when I run...
....but this is how I really look!!
Thank you Lord for humor!!
There are some people that make it look so stinking easy. They eat clean, tons of veggies, fruit and lean meat, nothing but water and plenty time at the gym. And then there's me. I am such a picky eater. Off the top of my head, my veggie list consists of lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, peas, beans, corn. I love sour grapes and apples, bananas, oranges, and now strawberries. I never actually ate a strawberry until I was pregnant with Noah. And now I'm hooked! I am definitely a texture person. I do not like anything with hunks in it. I made the mistake in high school of ordering the strawberry slush from Sonic. Let's just say that after the first sip, and a large hunk of strawberry...it wasn't pretty!! Although I am picky, I want to start trying new things and not just for me and losing weight, but for my boys! I don't want them to be picky like I am. On top of trying to eat better and venture out...the planning. I don't know why planning out meals have been so hard for me to do. I've got to start gathering healthy recipes and putting my crock pot to use!!
Now for the best part...TURN & BURN!! I got this e-mail January 7th!
"Turn & Burn is back!! This exercise class is for faculty/staff only and we are getting started next Monday January 14th. Turn and Burn is a 30 minute class Monday thru Friday at 12:15pm to 12:45pm. We will focus on strength three days a week and cardio two days a week. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. Hope to see you there!"
I let Jamie talk me into to...thank goodness! And I've been going ever since! I LOVE this class.
- It's only 30 minutes
- Jamie and I have fun (maybe too much fun)
- I leave sore every time, but it's completely up to me how much I put into it.
- I've learned how weak I am, and what I REALLY need to work on. I HATE PUSH-UPS!!
- It's planned...no matter what! No "when can I go workout today, and what do I do?"
- It keeps me from binging at lunch!!
- It's pretty much the same group of people everyday.
- When I leave work at 5:00, I'm done! Feels good knowing that I've gotten it out of the way!
I learned Wednesday how much I hated a medicine ball! We chose to go outside since it was nice.
This picture is a little hard to see, but do you notice the hill, up to the road on the backside? That's where the sweat happened! We had to ....
- back peddle up the hill and run down x5
- run up and down x5
- run it sideways x4
- bear crawl it x7
- squat while holding medicine ball (10 or 20lb) pop up and throw it up the hill, when it started rolling down, we had to run the hill x5
- run the hill with the ball and hand off to next person x8
Honestly, I had no idea how I was gonna do the next rep when it came to the ball. And it didn't help that I left the 10lb ball to use the 20 since there were only 2 people in that group compared to the 6 of us in the 10lb group. It was taking us a lot longer to complete since there were so many of us. And so I ventured out...to try it. Right now Porter weighs about 19lbs. Thank goodness he's not dead weight, because there's no way I would be able to carry his butt around so much. Although, it's not like I carry him up hills or big stairs all the time.....hmm, maybe I've discovered a good home workout for myself! Here I go again....
How I feel....
...how I really look!!
We planned to go back outside today if the weather's good, but he mentioned some ugly, ugly words....BURPEES and PUSHUP! Those are the only two things I remember him saying!
Although I enjoyed my run yesterday, I hate I missed spin class for the cardio yesterday!! But I know Tuesday, Thursday and weekends are the only time to fit in my 5k training!
I CAN DO THIS!!
Feel free to pass on any advice, recipes, websites, or comments that you think might help me out!!!